The Truth About Snapchatting, from a Snapchat Expert

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Walking around town, you may spot someone holding up their iPhone, and taking a picture of themselves, or a “selfie,” as we call it. Most likely, it is someone snap-chatting. Snapchat is an app available on iTunes where one can take a picture and send it to someone, but you can control how long the picture shows for, and after that time, the picture disappears forever. If the person receiving the Snapchat takes a screen shot of the picture, the sender of the Snapchat is notified.

The popular app is not new, but the update is. Now, one can send videos through Snapchat as well. This has brought Snapchatting to a whole new level. I myself had a Snapchat problem, and my friends had to have an intervention with me. I am a little better, but I still send at lease 5 a day.

As an expert and pro Snapchatter, I have learned there are three categories of Snapchats I receive. No matter what, every picture or video I have ever received, or anyone will ever receive, will fall under one of these categories. I have broken these categories down below.

Category #1: The “Porn” Snapchat. Many believe that Snapchat was invented for the purpose of Sexting, because one can send nude pictures of themselves to their significant other, or anyone for that matter, and the picture disappears forever after being shown for maybe 3 seconds (perfect for those skeevy future politicians that don’t want to ruin their rep with a few crotch shots.) The time is too short to take a screen shot, yet it is long enough for the receiver of the Snapchat to see the nakedness. In my opinion, this is totally gross, and I advise no guy try to sext through Snapchat in order to pick up the ladies. However, this is one main thing this app is used for on the regs.

Category #2: The “I’m Bored and Ugly” Snapchat. This is the Snapchat I most frequently receive from friends. It is when someone is really bored and has nothing to do, so they entertain themselves by making an extremely ugly face and sending it to all his or her friends. It’s a great way to kill time, entertaining to the receiver, and great because the ugly face will never show up again (unless the receiver takes a screen shot and keeps it for future black mail purposes.) Sometimes, people will compete to see who can make the most chins. On the occasion I am invited into this competition, I accept the challenge like Barney on How I Met Your Mother, and double-chin, or even triple-chin like a champ.

Category #3: The “I’m Super Popular” Snapchat. This is the Snapchat where a person will snap a picture of himself or herself with a bunch of other friends, usually at a party. Red cups and bongs usually make their way into these pictures, and keg-stands and shot-guns are usually recorded as a Snapchat video. People enjoy sending these party pictures because it’s a way of showing all your friends how cool you are and how much fun you are having with out them, without having to post it on Facebook.  This usually makes me want to eat ice cream and listen to “All By Myself” by Celine Dion, Bridget Jones style. #FridayNightLoneliness

Snapchat is free and easy to use, and once you’re aware of it, your bound to see people taking selfies all over the place.

So Snap on my fellow readers, snap on. 

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