Everyone likes to talk about the “bromance” but the same loving relationship exists among women as well. I can say with full confidence that I am in a serious relationship with at least ten girls right now. In fact, if there was a Facebook status for what I have with my best girl friends, it would be “In a Re-gay-tionship.” These girls are my best friends, and though things never actually get too lezzy, we still do (b)romance-y things.
For one thing, my best girl friends and I are always on top of each other. It’s what we do. We don’t just cuddle, and we do more than just spoon. We actually lay on top of each other, and straddle each other with our legs, and our friendship. These intimate moments of snuggling are some of the most important moments in a friendship between two girls, because these are the times when we can just say whatever, and be ourselves. #venting #shittalk
Another lady-love thing we do is text each other all the time. We text each other when we are apart for like a whole class period, saying things like “I miss you” and “ILY” and “<333333.” We text each other constantly, sharing our inner most thoughts and deepest feelings. We also however, share normal every day stuff like “I just ate 2 bags of Smart Food Popcorn.” or “I just went to the tanning salon. #burntnipples.” This constant texting is a kin to the texting one does with her significant other, except that girl-on-girl texting is more fun because you can say inappropriate things and type out things like “8====D,” just for shits and gigs. (It’s obviously a smiley face with a big nose. DUH!)
One of the super re-gay-tionship-y things that all girls do is play with each other’s boobalas. It’s not a thing that we get turned on by or anything, but it is legitimately just a grand ol’ time. I mean, it’s all like “I shall name you squishy, and you shall be mine.” It’s not at all like we’re feelings each other up. 2nd base is solely reserved for the men in our lives (and Robinson Cano on the Yankees…also I just had to Google who the 2nd baseman for the Yankees was in order to make that joke. No shame.) But instead, we poke and push, just to get a feel of those fleshy, mountainous, piles of boobage. Accidental boob graze? No such thing. It’s always on purpose. (or on “porpoise” in aquatic terms.)
All girls in a bromance, or in feminine conjugation, a “bra-mance” (yeah I just coined that term. Go Leah!) also shower together. Camp friends, and college friends understand this concept extremely well. Showering together is NBD, no sweat, a whole lotta nothin, and no problemo. It is more efficient because instead of waiting for a shower to open up, you can both just shower together so there is no opportunity cost #OnlyMacroIKnow. It is also better for the environment, because it uses less water, so the atmosphere and our nations future and Mother Nature, can just thank girls for like, sustaining the earth and fresh water and what not. It’s great because we can sing lots of throwback songs, and make soapy Mohawks in our hair, and get clean, all at the same time, and The whole “being naked” thing is irrelevant between girlfriends, because we are all so comfortable with each other!
It’s not that we love each other in a “she wants the V” kind of way, but we do love each other in a “I-don’t-know-how-I-could-survive-without-you” kind of way. Maybe these girls aren’t just my lezzy friends who occasionally participate in drunk make out sessions (#college, ) and they aren’t just my bra-mances or my “girl crushes” either. They are my soul mates. These are the girls that will live forever and always in my heart…but not in my pants. #Lesbihonest