After reading every Buzzfeed article ever, taking Addy like it’s our job, eating like the women from Mauritania, and I guess studying a little, we have survived our college finals! #FINALly
Finals are a time when everyone hates their lives. The library is hoppin’ and the smart people in your classes that you have never talked to before are suddenly your best friends (maybe even in your new favorites on Snapchat because like, you really want their study guides).
Finals either bring people together, or tear them apart.
You will bond with peers in your class while studying, complain about how much you hate your professor, and pull all-nighters together.
Also, many times I find people use finals as a flirting device. Oh, well hello hot boy in my class! Do you want to study with me later for our test? It works every time.
And for the other way around, it works with the hot girl in your class too. Study dates are key to a girl’s heart. Seriously. When a girl sees that you want to study with her, she will think it’s super cute.
Her thought process: you care about your grades (so like, Morgan Stanley here you come,) you want to hang out with her in a setting that doesn’t involve alcohol, and you want to hang out in sweats and no makeup (“He thinks I’m beautiful!”)
Study dates are super cute and simultaneously super productive. (Unless you spend the whole time making out, in which case you will probably get a low score on your test but like, at least you scored!)
But, finals can also really fuck up relationships. It’s no secret that finals are a stressful time. Stress, mixed with high doses of Vyvanse, is a recipe for disaster, or at least extreme cases of bitchiness.
Friends get annoyed at each other a lot more than usual during this time, which totally sucks for me because at a time of the year when everyone savors silence, I never shut the fuck up and tend to piss people off.
But like whatever, I’m fun and interesting and you’re boring and quiet and all stoic and whatnot. However, one must remember that this will only last until finals are over, which is now for me so WOOOO yay friends!!
Relationships between boys and girls also seem to get a little rocky at this time. For one thing, you have no time for each other, which always stirs up drama. But also, priorities!
Chances are, you won’t marry the guy you are seeing now, so in the long run it’s more important to focus on your studies because THAT is what is essential for your future.
Also, because it is right before winter break, there is this tension that’s like, “should we stay together during that month of not seeing each other? Or should we break up so I can get laid by girls I went to high school with and have blossomed since senior year?” (Pshh…good luck with that.)
Winter break is also super awk because everyone ends finals at different times, so you don’t really get to say goodbye to everyone, and everything is kind of just left airplane style (up in the air).
But, like I said, finals are over! (pause for celebratory tequila shot.)
However, this means that the work is just beginning.
Applying for jobs, internships, study abroad programs, and maybe taking some online courses to bump your cumulative are in your near future.
Vacation? HA! More like NOcation! (GOT EMMM)
So winter break, you never exceed my expectations (minus the fact that I get to see my dog when I go home! Shout out to Lily Bear—stop being so cute!!) because you usually just stress me out even more.
Luckily there are some things to look forward to for the spring semester (or the spring Ovester as the lesbian chick from Legally Blonde would call it because of the semen versus ovary thang!)
Exciting Spring Things: spring rush, warm weather, chillin’ on the quad, friends coming back from studying abroad, frat formals, and sundresses. YAY!
See, I like to look at things glass-half-full (Unless its my wine glass, in which case its half-empty and I need a re-fill biznatchhh)
HAPPY WINTER BREAK AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!