Breakin hearts since ’93

I would just like to start off by saying that every year, on December 17, it is not my very own special day. I do not get to be the center of attention, and I do not have the final say on whether or not we are doing Italian or Asian food for the birthday dinner. Why? Because I am a twin, and I must share my birthday with my brother (not to mention our birthday falls right around the holiday season so our birthday is typically also celebrated at the same time as Christmas and Chanukah, meaning the presents are usually combined as well.)

However, even though I do not get to be the complete Birthday Princess I long to be, I much prefer what I have now—the most amazing and incredible twin brother a gal could have.

Now, William (or Squilliam as the fam calls him) is a one-in-a-million kinda guy. This blog post will not even begin to depict how incredible this guy is, but I’m gonna try. This kid is so freakin full of love it should be illegal. Like, call the cops.  He cares so much about making everyone happy, and though he is stubborn as fuck and refuses to ever lose an argument even when he’s wrong (I see a potential law career in your future) I can still always tell that he is filled with guilt whenever he does the wrong thing.


He is so smart, and without him, I would have never passed any of my science classes…or math classes…or history classes…fuck, I would never have graduated!

But seriously, this kid was the only person who could sit down with me for 8 hours (literally) and teach me an entire curriculum in a way that I would understand it (like drawing out pictures for idiots.) But seriously, his patience with me was unreal, even though most study sessions would end with him yelling at me or laughing sarcastically and me in tears. However, I know it was all out of love.

Who’s Kevin???

Willy is also protective. If he ever heard anyone say anything about me he would hate them and be mean to them. One time when we were probably in 6th grade, some boys made a comment about my bra size and he told me to stay away from them and he didn’t talk to them for like, days. If that’s not brotherly love, I don’t know what is. #brotherlylove #Iknowwhatitis

Our closeness is very interesting. Because he is a boy and I am a girl, some conversation topics are just off limits. However, as we have grown up, we have come to using stealthy phrases like “Yeah this one girl who I ‘dated’…” in order to discuss our weekend adventures. However, everything else we share like we are water straight out of the faucet—unfiltered.

We are each other’s best audience as we laugh at each other’s jokes no matter what.  We quote movies together on the regs, testing each other to see who knows more Mean Girls quotes (Thank God its me though…) And we make a great team. By that I mean that together we join up and gang up on other people. Together we are unstoppable, and un-crossable. Getting in between our twinniness is one road that should never be taken (even for you, Robby Frost.) Also, shout out to Brian The Box Head, we still feel bad about that…

So Will, you probably hate that I’m blogging about you and being kind of cute, but I love you so much and it fills my heart with so much happiness whenever I think about how lucky I am to have such an amazing twin brother. There is no one else in the world I would have rather shared the womb with (although it wouldn’t have killed ya to share some of the nutrients, ya know? #YouAreTheReasonINeededAFeedingTubeYaBitch)

But seriously, have a  happy birthday Bro. You deserve it!

P.S. to any of Will’s good-looking single friends who are planning on having a super successful job when you graduate college, hit me up 😉 #PerksOfHavingAMaleTwin

P.P.S. I only said that to make Will mad. Mission accomplished. I take my P.S. back. (no I don’t…)

P.P.P.S. Only one more year until the FUN Birthday that actually matters!! #21Shots

P.P.P.P.S You’re a fat loser and you have body odor!


LOVE YA!!! ❤


One thought on “HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TWIN: A Short Post

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